Delayed marriages in Kashmir are a growing concern, driven by extravagant customs, financial burdens, and societal expectations. These delays have negative consequences for individuals and society, leading to social and psychological issues. Islam provides a clear and practical solution by encouraging simple and timely marriages. To resolve this problem, society must return to Islamic values, eliminate unnecessary customs, and focus on the true essence of marriage—companionship, love, and moral well-being.

 By Mashkoor Ahmad Lone 

Marriage is a fundamental institution in society, providing stability, companionship, and a foundation for the future. However, in Kashmir, an increasing number of marriages are being delayed due to various social, economic, and cultural factors. This delay has serious consequences for individuals and society as a whole. In this article, we will explore the primary causes of delayed marriages in Kashmir, the impact of traditions such as extravagant wedding customs and dowry, and the Islamic perspective on this issue.

Causes of Delayed Marriages

Several factors contribute to the increasing delay in marriages in Kashmir, including:

1. Extravagant Wedding Customs

In Kashmiri society, weddings have become grand affairs, often involving multiple ceremonies, large gatherings, and lavish expenses. The pressure to host a wedding that meets societal expectations forces families to delay marriage until they can afford the high costs. Many young men and women remain unmarried simply because their families cannot meet these financial demands.

2. The Burden of Dowry (Daehj)

Dowry, though discouraged, is still deeply rooted in Kashmiri society. Many families demand substantial dowries, which include cash, gold, household items, and even property. This financial burden makes it difficult for parents to marry off their daughters at the right age, leading to unnecessary delays.

3. High Expectations and Social Status

Many families seek spouses with high financial and social status, stable jobs, or foreign residency. This narrows down marriage prospects, making it harder for young people to find suitable partners quickly. Unrealistic expectations regarding wealth, career, and lifestyle further complicate the process.

4. Late Career Establishment

With growing economic challenges, many young men delay marriage until they achieve financial stability. The pressure to secure a well-paying job, build a house, or own a car before marriage prolongs the waiting period. The rising unemployment rate in Kashmir has further intensified this issue.

5. Influence of Modern Lifestyles

Increased exposure to Western lifestyles and changing social norms have altered perceptions of marriage. Some young individuals prioritize career growth, travel, and personal independence over early marriage. This shift in priorities has contributed to delayed marriages.

6. Educational Priorities

Both men and women in Kashmir are pursuing higher education, which often postpones marriage. While education is essential, prolonged academic pursuits sometimes lead to late marriages, especially for women, as families prefer to wait until they complete their studies.

Consequences of Delayed Marriages

The delay in marriages has several negative impacts on individuals and society:

1. Increased Risk of Moral and Social Issues

Delaying marriage increases the risk of moral corruption, as individuals may seek companionship outside of marriage, which is discouraged in Islam. It also leads to mental stress and emotional struggles.

2. Declining Birth Rates and Family Pressures

Late marriages often result in complications in conceiving children, reducing birth rates. Women who marry late may face health risks associated with late pregnancies. Additionally, families experience increased stress and pressure due to prolonged bachelorhood.

3. Social Imbalance and Psychological Stress

A large population of unmarried individuals creates social imbalance, leading to frustration, loneliness, and psychological distress. Many young people suffer from anxiety and depression due to societal and family pressure regarding marriage.

4. Economic Strain on Families

The financial burden of extravagant weddings and dowries puts immense pressure on families. Many families take loans or sell property to afford wedding expenses, leading to long-term financial struggles.

Islamic Perspective on Delayed Marriages

Islam strongly encourages early and simple marriages to promote social stability and moral well-being. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said:

“O young men, whoever among you can afford marriage should marry, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding chastity.” (Sahih al-Bukhari)

Islam discourages extravagance and unnecessary delays in marriage. The concept of dowry, as practiced in many societies, contradicts Islamic teachings. In Islam, the groom is responsible for giving Mahr (a gift to the bride), but there is no obligation for the bride’s family to provide wealth or material possessions.

Islam also emphasizes simplicity in weddings. The Prophet (PBUH) advised that the best marriage is the one with the least burden. Unfortunately, cultural traditions have overshadowed these teachings, making marriages complicated and expensive.

Solutions: How to Overcome this Issue?

To address this growing problem, society must take practical steps:

1. Promote Simplicity in Weddings

Families should adopt the Islamic principle of simple and affordable marriages. The community must discourage unnecessary rituals, grand celebrations, and excessive spending.

2. Abolish the Dowry System

Social awareness campaigns should be launched to eliminate the demand for dowry. Religious leaders and scholars should play a role in educating people about the harms of dowry and the Islamic stance on it.

3. Change Unrealistic Expectations

Parents and individuals should prioritize character, piety, and compatibility over wealth and social status when selecting life partners. The Prophet (PBUH) emphasized marrying for faith and good character rather than financial status.

4. Encourage Early and Practical Marriages

Marriage should not be delayed for materialistic reasons. Families should support young people in marrying at an appropriate age, even if they are still building their careers.

5. Community and Religious Leadership Involvement

Mosques, Islamic scholars, and social organizations should educate people on the importance of timely and simple marriages. The community should collectively work to remove social barriers that delay marriages.

Conclusion:

Delayed marriages in Kashmir are a growing concern, driven by extravagant customs, financial burdens, and societal expectations. These delays have negative consequences for individuals and society, leading to social and psychological issues. Islam provides a clear and practical solution by encouraging simple and timely marriages. To resolve this problem, society must return to Islamic values, eliminate unnecessary customs, and focus on the true essence of marriage—companionship, love, and moral well-being. By promoting awareness and making conscious efforts, we can create a society where marriages are simple, timely, and in accordance with Islamic principles.